Read a post on my friend Anil's blog, about this young girl, all of 17 only, who was tied up, gang-raped, beaten up, brutally (to say the very least) murdered. Her corpse was raped again and bars were shoved in her genitals, and face disfigured. Her mother suffered the same consequence. Her brothers were beaten, disfigured and killed. And in full public view. The girl was Priyanka Bhotmange, and she was an ordinary girl like any of us, with dreams of studying more, becoming a cadet and living happily ever after.
I read and re-read the post and all stories about her, saw some pictures that are making me cry even now... my skin crawled and I cringed trying to delete the scene from my mind. Yes, I want to erase all that I cannot bear, all that I don't want to know is happening around me, all that I know can happen to any one of us. I don't want to face the reality that this happened and it happened in this country and in my state.
Why am I writing about this 3 months down the line after the incident? Because I live in a self-contained world, with my own 'problems' and am having a cushy life. And happened to read, in detail, about this girl only now.
And do I care? Quite honestly, I don't know.... but then again, maybe, I do. Because I cannot explain why else am I feeling an immense anger that makes me want to castrate those men, cut off their limbs and leave them for dying. And also a terrible helplessness... for being who I am- a woman, who can be vulnerable at all times, never mind the fact who she is or how well-connected in society she is. Also not knowing what to do really.
Above all, I am ashamed...for being part of a country that on one hand worships forms of women and on the other massacres their very being, for living in a society that allows these men to scott-free by hushing the case and destroying the evidence. For being part of the brigade that beyond feeling shocked, angered and sad, will not spend more time than necessary on Priyanka.
And if this sounds like a confused post, it is.... because I don't know what I am feeling, where I stand and who I am anymore.
I read and re-read the post and all stories about her, saw some pictures that are making me cry even now... my skin crawled and I cringed trying to delete the scene from my mind. Yes, I want to erase all that I cannot bear, all that I don't want to know is happening around me, all that I know can happen to any one of us. I don't want to face the reality that this happened and it happened in this country and in my state.
Why am I writing about this 3 months down the line after the incident? Because I live in a self-contained world, with my own 'problems' and am having a cushy life. And happened to read, in detail, about this girl only now.
And do I care? Quite honestly, I don't know.... but then again, maybe, I do. Because I cannot explain why else am I feeling an immense anger that makes me want to castrate those men, cut off their limbs and leave them for dying. And also a terrible helplessness... for being who I am- a woman, who can be vulnerable at all times, never mind the fact who she is or how well-connected in society she is. Also not knowing what to do really.
Above all, I am ashamed...for being part of a country that on one hand worships forms of women and on the other massacres their very being, for living in a society that allows these men to scott-free by hushing the case and destroying the evidence. For being part of the brigade that beyond feeling shocked, angered and sad, will not spend more time than necessary on Priyanka.
And if this sounds like a confused post, it is.... because I don't know what I am feeling, where I stand and who I am anymore.
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3 comments:
thats truly shocking! What a tragic end to a beautiful young life. I cant imagine how some men could do such a barbaric act and call themselves human! I really dunno what the punishment should be. Cos nothing justifies this!
Anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR to u!
TC,
Keshi.
Hi...
I read this post of yours sometime back and Anil's too... but I was so overcome with anger and frustration, that I thought if I put it into words, it would be too harsh. So I waited till I can take it.
Honestly, I did not read about this particular incident in the papers, but then that is how we are... so indifferent with what is happening in the world outside. We tend to live in that cocoon where we think that this kind of thing cannot happen to me and mine. I dont know... but when I hear about these incidences, my faith on humanity is shaken and it is difficult to lead a normal life for sometime. But then ofcourse with our short term memories, everything fades away into oblivion.
While I have been writing all this, simultaneously I know that its all a waste and nothing will really happen. I will write this comment and get back to my work and forget all about it... and believe me I am ashamed of myself... I am ashamed of my fear and lack of initiative... whenever I read TS Eliot's Hollow Men, I feel that it was written with me in mind.
Hope Priyanka's soul rests in peace atleast now.
Happy New Year to everyone! :)
* Keshi: yes, nothing will be able to justify this- not even justice itself.
* Minakshi: I know exactly how you feel...
Don't feel so bad towards yourself, we are all like that. But there's hope, because few initiatives are being taken and hopefully a campaign should start soon. You can check anil's page for the update.
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