I think....therefore I am....

One of my closest friends once told me, "...you think too much!"

Hmm. I do.

I can't help it. The wheels in my brains keep churning over and over again... from the smallest to the macro level, my mind runs through every thought, idea, perception and dream. And I won't apologise for it, because this very tiresome thinking has bailed me out many times, put me on guard on many people, made me understand few hard facts of life...

And today I am thinking that why am I really writing on this blog? To listen to my own voice? Am I writing it for myself, as an outlet to my soul? Or is it because I seem to want to share with the world, every little bit of myself?

Because I don't know who really regularly reads this blog except for me... The people who don't know me need not be interested, and the people who do, for some reason are really not keen... So why get into this megalomaniacal narcissistic mode of reading the self's blah every night and day?

Hey, but I am not sad…
I’m just a little mad.
A bit crazy and in a tizzy,
buzzing like a bumble bee
atop an old orange tree.
Singing a tune of a distant dream, far from ur realm.....
With stars as my eyes
And the wind as my wings
I live …
Is this life I wonder when I hear
The song that the human race sings
As they believe…
What is today will never come again
Yet who knows what tomorrow brings
We are but pebbles in life’s sieve…

HAPPY SOLAR ECLIPSE!:)

One of my closest friend's birthday today....so this post is dedicated specially to her!

a storm cloud
that passes by
before turning into rain
showering love
and sometimes tears of pain

a madness of a moonlit sky
bringing out laughter
that begins deep inside
and spills out
through the breach of an eye

a comfort of warm sunshine
that makes flowers bloom
as do friendships
of the soul
that wither all gloom

a raging torrent
that sweeps all along
and speaks of passion
unexplained and unknown
and only wants to belong

a sum of all these
and more…
an all-weather friend I possess
hither she comes and goes
a crazy but wonderful demi-goddess


Happy Birthday with love!!! :)

COLD BLOODIED?

Photo: International Fund for Animal Welfare

A seal pup is seen on the ice after it was shot on the first day of the 2006 Canadian commercial seal hunt in the Gulf of St. Lawrence, Canada. This year, 325,000 young seals will be killed on the ice floes off the East Coast, where the animals gather .

THINGS THAT TAKE PLACE?..."incredible cruelty at the hunt, including dragging conscious seals across the ice with boathooks, shooting seals and leaving them to suffer in agony and skinning seals alive".
STILL WANT TO WEAR FUR?

times a'changing...

there was a time when I woke up in the morning and the newspapers would have stories and features on all the smuggling, black marketeering, robberies, scams, corruption and politics all over India....
the activities notwithstanding, nowadays, I read only about rapes, molestations, acid attacks, murders and suicides... suddenly everything has become more personal and individual...
Is India shining? Lets not ask the people sitting in the high kursis of the politicial or corporate arenas ...lets ask the common (wo)man who is facing these changes at an everyhour basis... the answer I'm afraid is not just an affirmation or negation, but much more...and in a dark, secretive way.

another saturday streams by...

...and its a wonderful Sunday!!!

Had a good week- especially the one-day visit to Mumbai. Although rushed and pretty packed, the day went off superbly! Had maa ke haath ka khana after long- heaven! And then an abs great time over dinner with my bestest friend- how good is good company! :) Got treated to phirni (one of my faves!) from Noorani.. so a yum dessert, a-sitting by the sea and a full moon night... simply awesome!
Life sometimes hands us magic on a platter
Hidden in pieces of time all a-tatter …
Even if it is just small talk and idle chatter
These are the special moments that really matter …

The journey back was real long (took me a good 4-5 hours to reach- which was around 3am in the morning) but just so beautiful that words can't do justice to it... Picture this! A resplendent full moon with a lunar eclipse lighting up the entire ghats...the mountains, trees, houses and even the roads are alit with the shimmering, silvery glitter of moonlight...the lights from the vehicles and homes flicker through these silhouettes...a play of natural vs. the artificial... and in the background Indian Ocean is singing their song Kandisa ... the road becomes an ethereal path that moves upwards... magical isn't it!? Mmmmm....I think everyone must travel once down this way on a full moon night!
A moonlit sky singing a midnight sonata
The kiss of many dreams all filled in one iota
I hear the sound of my beating heart anew
There’s a silver-lined enchantment in the air,

but those who understand it, are very few…

Went last evening for a premiere of a Marathi movie film, produced by friends of mine... during the press conference, all of us were sitting around and chatting generally.... when the point of conversation went on to one of the women's husband not having dinner but just enjoying his drinks; and she said that as of now she better just leave him alone ... and I thought that hey, that’s a real understanding wife - he's been having some real tensed months and she's letting him be.... till she said something the next second, "... give a little leash and then pull back tight! Like a dog!". And another friend of hers tittered..." he he ... oh, she's such a good trainer!"

Oh Yes I was shocked! So much so that words didn't come out! My face must have looked like a goldfish's...Here I was, treating my dog as a human and there she is, treating her husband like a dog! What do you say to this peepulz!?

Well anyway... have a happy Sunday! And a great week ahead! :)
Love...
Moi.

VROOOOMMMMMMMM....

Revv up baby, its F1 time again!!! Yahooooooooo!!!
And on to a wonderful start in Bahrain, was Alonso, beating Schumi by a second and a lil more....Although I really don't like him one bit, I must say he earned it...Well, I'm not complaining as my faves and the people I'm rooting for came in second and third place respectively- yes, you guessed right- M.Schumacher and K.Raikkonen! :)
There are so many partnerships, alliances and collaborations happening all of a sudden all over the world. Take the F1 world itself- McLaren & Mercedes, BMW & Sauber, Ferrari & Shell, Super Aguri & Honda, Toyota & Panasonic.... This is in racing, but I see the trend taking place even in architecture and design...but more on that later...
My fave car is the Ferrari, and with Kimi Raikkonen possibly joining the Ferrari team next year- my life should be made just watching the entire series!
All in all a relaxed sunday... normally the weekend, especially Sundays are days to indulge... all the senses... so from aromatic candles and oils to fragrant food and delicious desserts, accompanied by good music or a nice movie/book... I let myself loose on them all... the flavours for today were cinnamon, orange, lavender, tuberose, strawberry, jasmine, mint and sandalwood... hmmm- I can see your nose all confused and your mind in a whirl wondering what was used where...hahaha.
So cheerios folkses- a Happy Sunday and a great beginning to a fab week!
Au revoir from moi!

me = mumbaikar/bombayite/mumbai-wallah!

my last post and the comments on it thereafter got me thinking of the city that I was born in- Bombay or Mumbai as it is formally known now...
A city that gave me more than I can even list down... an understanding of spirit, a pride and confidence in being part of its womb,a sense of belonging that was always warm and cozy to come back to,a pampering and indulgent independence and the net of safety that always prevailed when things failed the most or turned out not as quite as they seemed they were...a richness even from its poorest class,the variety of human charity to a self preservation that many people consider bordering on 'coldness'...the power to dream big and achieve it... a chance to explore and appreciate- places, food and people... thoughts and religions...preferences and associations... lives of the day and the night... to be as I want to be - just like that...There's no city I can love more than I love Mumbai!
And now, when I am no longer living there, I realised something that I miss too much, and that I had taken for granted earlier...the sea! As the rain falls outside my window now, I am thinking how it must be in Mumbai... the waves lapping upon the wet pavements, all the roads, cars, houses, trees, leaves, flowers, bus stops, lamp posts glistening with the sparkle of the raindrops... people having 'cutting chai -thoda masala maarke', garma garam 'batata and kanda' bhajiyas and samosas off the frying pan and straight into the mouth, some hot chocolate and coffee with warm conversations, the trains looking all clean and squeaking along the platforms, windchimes of the flats by the bay dancing to the tune of the tides, people huddled up around warm fires, crowds in the stations and the bus stops hankering to go home, Haji Ali all lit up and drenched as would be the other buildings and spaces like Siddhi Vinayak, VT station, Gateway, Taj Hotel, Carter Road, Fort....oh I can just go on....
My most amazing and simple moments of the rains in Mumbai have been of catching a double-decker bus, sitting right in front with an open window and going to Marine Drive, walking on the pavement and leaning over the ledge when the waves came in, eating butta, using my umbrella not for myself but in making other people wet as I twirled it around, getting soaked to my bones, shivering , having an ice-cream to prove 'cold kills cold' and enjoying every minute of it...dancing a lil jig in the middle of the road...laughing, singing aloud in the taxi ... and acting madder than ever ...
Mumbai also is memorable because of the odours that it emanates during the rains- junk-filled nallahs and sewers, open garbage cans and dumpsters, urine and faeces lined along the road, petrol and diesel smoked filled traffic...nicer ones too. I identify the places in the city by their smells, especially the times I travelled from Fort to Bandra by car...kebabs over the JJ flyover, the sea mists of Marine Drive to Chowpatty, the freshness in the air as the car passes the Hanging Gardens and reaches Peddar Road at Kemps corner, butta being roasted and hot charcoal mixed with clammy sea smells of the Worli seaface, the flower market of Dadar(just before the flyover) and then the herbs, spices and vegetables being sold on the road under the bridge, green grass of Shivaji Park and the dhoop outside Mahim durgah... through all these smells, the one I cherish most is that of the Shirish tree....a faint and lingering fragrance that gently, but fimrly cuts through all these prevailing strong ones and allows you to disappear into a realm of enchantment... always there around, irrespective of everything else... as a mark of life... so much like the city it and I belong to...

ps: A must-read that I recommend strongly- Smell by Radhika Jha.

Rain, feel it on my finger tips...Hear it on my window pane...Rain, wash away my sorrow...Take away my pain...Your love's coming down like rain

what is that thing in the air
that makes pavements smell fresh and sweet
when they’re wet?
I drank it in this morning
through my nose and my skin and my soul
while the moisture-drenched breeze
blew affectionately through my hair
and tangled my mind
into little wispy cobwebs of nostalgia

Halleluahhhhhhhhhhh..............its raining!!!!!!!....................no, not men! :(
Its raining in Mumbai, Pune and some parts of Maharashtra! The wild breeze ruffling my hair, smell of wet mud and more really drives me crazy (I know, I am and I know that you know I am, and I also know I know that you know that I know I am...crazy...hehe) ... I have been getting that 'rainy' feeling since so long and knowing my senses never fail, I'm amazed it took so long to rain...
The rain always takes me back to moments of immense love and heart-wrenching pain too...also really terrible fights and madness, magic and fun ... it stirs in me so many emotions that are hard to explain...I so love the rain!
But yes, the downside is that this unnatural kinky urge of mother nature to go all wet has affected all the crops and so the farmers are going to have a tough time this year!
Me thinks that we are only to blame! We play with nature and she plays right back with us, and how!

and this is not connected... but a good oil massage does wonders to the senses! sighhhhh....

These are the seasons of emotion
and like the winds they rise and fall
This is the mystery of the quotient -
Upon us all a little rain must fall. ...................................... Led Zeppelin

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY! :)

.... rather that comes everyday, doesn't it? And how sad is it that men don't have days like these when they can celebrate themselves too, rt?! Well, actually for all of us- men and women- a Happy Day - wished everyday!

actually it should be 'female day' if at all that it should be celebrated... because this day I am dedicating to the latest member in my family- Tara. All of 2 months old and from a very 'khandaani' Labrador lineage... :)... she is an adorable bundle of mischief! And oh, so so very intelligent. She understands words said, her food bowl and sleeping rug, indicates when she has finished what she wants to do and wants to go home, picks up her bowl and drops it on my feet to say she's hungry...does not go in places that she cant see one of us...but for heaven's sake, how do I get her to understand that carpets and rugs are not 'rags meant to be peed upon!'...the royalty that she is will not pee anywhere else save the lovely dhurries I have so painstakingly bought and displayed on the floor...tch!!!
Decided to call her 'jane the ripper' too bec shes attacks and tears away all the papers, slippers, rugs - in the house..even our toes.....all except the teethers we have got for her (never mind what the pics indicate)!

But she has brightened up our home and lives and so the name...yes, very often she acts like she's a star of the hollywood type, but I guess we all have our lil idiosyncrasies... :)

song of a bluebird...

the celluloid world is amazing!
It can make u cry, laugh, sniff a bit, rave n rant at someone you dont like...get mushy and sweet on a person... jealous of another... wistful, a dreamer, inspired, brave... so much more than yourself... and this is irrespective whether what you see and understand is reality or fantasy....

saw a wonderful Dutch movie last nite... Called Bluebird... about a 13yr old girl Merel, who is constantly bullied by the kids in her class...and she has a severly handicapped brother Kasper(a real cutie!) who she really dotes on... and the story is about the emotions of this young girl as she grapples with her upsetting school life, and takes it out on her bro... the movie beautifully depics her in a transition space between childhood and maturity... till one day when the bullying gets to her... you cant help feeling bad for her... and yes, while you are sympathetic to her...her strength as a person (esp when u see the confidence in her actions) makes you wonder why she cant stand up for herself... she excels in academics, swimming, gymnastics,etc etc...which does not make her a complete geek tho...if you haven't seen it- please do! It's so wonderfully realistic and touching... and Rotterdam (where it is set) is beautiful as ever!

Mad about Madhuri: was watching madhuri dixit perform at the filmfare awards function... oh she's put on weight, got easily tired too... was shown only for few mins... but every sec was worth it! She actually gives life into the song... her eyes and facial expressions speak volumes and there's no one as graceful as her... if there was one word I would attribute to her - it would be passion. Its all about passion! Always has... you can never reach this far without it.
I remember seeing this real idiotic multi-starrer movie, with a plethora of 'big names'... 'Lajja' ... the story of four women who have either been tormented or exploited by men for their selfish gains... and tho it was a 'woman-based' theme, it was so bad a movie that we were actually laughing loudly thru scenes and also getting quite 'pakaoed' (if u knw what i mean)... were to walk out during the interval- bt were having so much fun laughing at the movie that we stayed... good for us! Because right after the intermission was Madhuri's entry... and then the movie changed! Cant really explain it, but she made everything come alive in those few mins of her scenes as janaki, one of the four 'bechaare' women...the other good aspect of the movie was Ajay Devgan...one of the best things to happen to that crappy film.... on him, we'l talk some other day. Today its Madhuri all the way....

Song a bluebird (Copyright 2003 by Brenda Reed)
Born one sunny day, a baby birdy
And his mom and dad had pretty feathers of blue
When he flew from that nest, it sort-a hurt him
And left him a little dazed and confused

(His mom and dad said)
Bluebird do you know, yet, who you are?
You’re a bird of different feathers, you’ll fly far.
Other birds won't know the needs to your soul.
God will show you your own way to go.

Some other birds chirped at Bluebird, called him "different!”
He felt out of place, little angry and confused
Bluebird chirped back, “Well, you’re finches!”“
And no way will I have feathers like you.”

[His mom and dad said...]
Bluebird do you know, yet, who you are?
You’re a bird of different feathers, you’ll fly far.
Other birds won't know the needs to your soul.
God will show you your own way to go.

Hey, my little blue bird, do you see them?
Your bright blue feathers
Part of God’s plan
Don’t reject them.
Or let a crow even try to change you.
You're going to make it!
And you'll make your own contribution too!

I hope that you love you’re a blue bird
And make friends with other blue birds too
Survive all you can, but remember these words
You're gonna love to do what all blue birds do
Now go on my little blue bird
Spread out your wings and go fly!
SO HIGH!

Musings of the mind...

As I have been observing people and my own self through the past many years, I have discovered a few 'understandings' for myself as I face the innuendos that life keeps throwing at me...

- that a brisk walk or a warm bath does not take away the anger from within... you just get so tired by both actions that you get temporarily distracted from the anger...which remains... dormant-until the next time over.
- that it is not the cold words or the anger or the hurt that pains you,but its the lack of love that you see in the other person that wounds...

- that no matter how hard you try, sometimes your best isn't ever enough...

- that eating chocolates only raises the calorie intake....never mind the fact they are supp to decrease cholestrol and depression...and how can they be anti-depressants, when the fact that they raise calories is food for depression anyway?!

- that there is never a whole truth- but many versions...each differing as to what an individual thinks...but each true to itself only because there is belief behind every one of them.

- that sometimes its best to let things pass by you and don't bother about them.... then again, sometimes its best you get it all out of your system....

- that people have thick skins while the walls around are very thin...
- that the music that stirs you is the one that has the saddest strains and haunts the soul...
- that each day we need a moment to be still, silent...and just be.
- that being alone does not make you lonely...but being lonely finds you alone always....

- that the human race was born to kill...and violently.
- that the pain one feels today is the happiness of yesterday....
- that there is a very fine line between reality and imagination...
- that either you trust or you dont...
- that there is magic- as real as the sun and the moon... and within us.
- that a smile and a hug are two of the best gifts to get unexpectedly, especially when you need it the most...a call, message or letter too make a wonderful difference...
- that hate is not the opposite of love- indifference is...
- that when you love - you just do...there's never a reason, nor a doubt.
- that being true to oneself is probably the toughest and most courageous thing to do...
- that what people say they mean is not exactly as they mean what they say...
- that a person's comprehension of they think you said need not be the same as what you believe you meant..
- that when you have to feel the pain, any excuse will do- even the smallest. Ditto for happiness...
- that when you are truly happy from within, everything around has a musical ring and a lilt to it...
- that music heals, helps and holds you together....it also elevates, embraces and encourages you...
- that its ok to be yourself once in a while, if not always...
- that you need not change just because someone else has and expects you to...
- that you can be happy and sad at the same time or in consecutive periods of time or in rotation....
- that give rhymes with live...
- that every once in a while, one must take a vacation- away from yourself...even if its in the mind...

- that strawberry n cream is indeed a divine combination....berry berry yummmy!

- that we need to let the the ones we love know that we do... small actions can make a whole lot of difference...more than big words can...

- that dreams come true...especially when you believe in them... and that we should just let them take us where we are to go...

- that every one of us is finally only looking for love...

Mad as a March Hare! ;)

Its March!!!!!!!!
And so is Spring... as will come the Equinox(Mar 21)...also the Solar Eclipse (Mar 29)...Holi (Mar 15)....Ides of March (15th)... International Earth Day (Mar 20)...World Forestry Day(Mar 21)....World Water Day(Mar 22)....World Meteorology Day(Mar 23)....International Literacy Day (Mar 3)....International Women’s Day(Mar 8).... Commonwealth Day(Mar -2nd Mon)... World Disabled Day(Mar 15 )... International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination(Mar 21) .... World TB Day (Mar 24) ....and of course the last day to pay taxes (at least in India)- Mar 31................... PHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This month is surely heavy-'duty', to say the least!

And if you are wondering what the pics are all about.... got up in the morning and had a glimpse of these pretty pink flowers basking in the sunlight...and they seemed so happy! The bird is native to India and is called the 'Bharadwaj' ... its apparantly considered lucky to spot one...( maybe they used to be rare to see once upon a time with the thick foliage that was there)... I see them (yes there are 3!!!) everyday....how lucky does that make me??!!! .... curioser and curioser... hehe.

March Hare: Have some wine. (Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea.)
Alice: I don't see any wine.
March Hare: There isn't any.
Alice: Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it.
March Hare: It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited.
**********************************
March Hare: …Then you should say what you mean.
Alice: I do; at least - at least I mean what I say -- that's the same thing, you know.
Mad Hatter: Not the same thing a bit! Why, you might just as well say that, 'I see what I eat' is the same as 'I eat what I see'!
March Hare: You might just as well say, that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!
The Dormouse: You might just as well say, that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!
*********************************************
Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?
Alice: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.
March Hare: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.
Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.
*****************************************
Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Chesire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We are all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.
Alice: And how do you know that you're mad?
The Cat: To begin with, a dog's not mad. You grant that?
Alice: I suppose so.
The Cat: Well, then, you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY:1st March 1896, Henri Becquerel discovered radioactivity by accident. He left a photographic plate in a desk drawer and found it had fogged with the image of uranium crystals that were alongside it. In 1954, The US detonated a hydrogen bomb 1,000 times more powerful than the Hiroshima explosion. The test site on the Pacific archipelago of Bikini was subsequently used for 23 atomic and hydrogen bombs tests over 12 years, leaving it highly contaminated by radioactivity.